Tell Giselle

Tell Giselle: Accepting and forgiving one’s failures

April 13, 2024

A couple of people I have been counseling who are in the throes of breaking up need me to answer the question: “How do I get out of the phase of anger I am in?”

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Tell Giselle: Empowerment through any work

April 6, 2024

Another adult several years from retirement age emailed me, seeking my input about a few concerns, professional and spiritual. This highly educated person, whom I will refer to as Julie, was churning about disappointments in a career trajectory that not only had taken a distressing turn, it had all but flatlined.

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Tell Giselle: Weighing in on losing fat

March 30, 2024

Some of you may be traveling with another couple this summer, perhaps to a reunion or a trip abroad that you’ve all been looking forward to for a while. There are practical concerns that need to be worked out, some beforehand, but some on the fly as not every challenge can be anticipated.

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Tell Giselle: The timeliness art of graceful exiting

March 23, 2024

Do you put a time window on an invitation to a party you are hosting, or do you just indicate, for example, to come at 7, and not even mention when your guests know they are to go home?

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Tell Giselle: When a partner goes rogue

March 16, 2024

“What are we to do when a relative or pal seems to have wandered too far off the campgrounds of the traditional views we adhere to or resonate with? How do we tolerate or accept those changes in them without feeling like we are compromising our own values?”

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Tell Giselle: Divulging tender truths

March 9, 2024

A young adult is wondering whether or not they ought to reveal to the rest of the family something unpleasant they learned while exploring their genealogy.

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Tell Giselle: Getting one’s desire to stay sparked

March 2, 2024

“My husband and I are struggling over sex. Now that we are older we have it less frequently. That is not the issue. What is wrong is that I don’t have any desire for sex, and his less than obvious desire for me doesn’t help. We are not yet retired. When is it time to give up on sex?”

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Tell Giselle: Rejecting schadenfreude

February 24, 2024

“A colleague did not get a promotion. They have been professionally successful, similarly to my own career, but this time they were surprised they were not chosen. I have gone back and forth with feeling upset for them, but then do feel glad they are having a rough time. I think that is because they are not deserving of getting the position or another perk, but think they are. How do I stop taking enjoyment over their situation, or does that matter to our relationship that I feel conflicted?”

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Tell Giselle: Food choices complicate care giving

February 17, 2024

A number of conversations with people who are now having to take care of an elderly relative prompts a closer look at how we respect and support our loved ones when they cannot fully care for themselves.

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Tell Giselle: Disharmony over paradise

February 10, 2024

A few counseling sessions have revealed the stark differences in how a couple views their priorities. One wants to buy a second home, as an investment, in a state that her husband finds politically objectionable.

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Tell Giselle: Advice that goes on backburner

February 3, 2024

I had a conversation with someone who had been frustrated with their good friend. What I heard was essentially a lament many of us have likely experienced. It went something like this: My friend (it could easily also be a relative, coworker or partner) periodically asks for my opinion and then often, most usually, doesn’t use it. They will say to me, “I’ll think about it.”

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Tell Giselle: Ponder religious options before pregnancy

January 27, 2024

A couple wanting to come to a decision about whether or not to adhere to their family’s religious traditions and practices posed the question: “Do you think it is best if we introduce our children to what we were taught, or is it better to teach them a variety of beliefs and let them decide?”

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Tell Giselle: Movement vs. momentum

January 20, 2024

Anxiety can be a driver for finding solutions, and it’s particularly common with career changes. Many people going through this, whether young or mature, often fail to consider something essential to success. As we come upon life-changing decisions, there is a need to ask ourselves if we are making change for the sake of movement or are we making change that will actually represent momentum.

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Tell Giselle: Ending one romance and on to the next

January 13, 2024

A counseling session with a professional brought to mind how to navigate the dating scene. How soon to begin dating after a death of a partner or a spouse, is a question that has come up more than once.

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Tell Giselle: Dodging sickness can take its toll

January 6, 2024

A retiree posed a question to me that is not unique to most of us. The senior was uncertain about whether or not to get on a prescribed medication. They wanted direction on how to evaluate the drug, the pros, cons, and all the tradeoffs that come with any medication and their side effects.

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Tell Giselle: Starting 2024 off on firm spiritual footing

December 30, 2023

Rather than addressing a question and focusing on the tough stuff of life as Tell Giselle so often does, I would like to begin the New Year with a few words about the value of effervescence. A bittersweet tale a friend told me underscores my suggestion to prioritize looking for the daily, or weekly, opportunities to celebrate love and joy.

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Tell Giselle: Some questions may be too personal, for now

December 23, 2023

Whether it is for edification, expanding the intimacy, or for finding commonalities, lots of people are curious and just want to ask questions that may cross a privacy boundary they are not even aware exists.

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Tell Giselle: Making things right can be a spiritual test

December 16, 2023

“I heard a story about someone who had committed a crime and shortly before they died confessed to a relative. Even after the person died it still took many months before this information was revealed to any of those directly involved, or given to the authorities.

“At a birthday party I was talking about this and I was surprised that not everyone was in agreement with how to handle deathbed confessions. What do you think is the right way to go about something like this, or when you learn of any type of damaging secret or trespass?”

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Tell Giselle: Tell me again why you love being you

December 9, 2023

“I want to get my husband to be healthier, especially by losing weight. He’s still handsome but is about 20 pounds more than when we married 30 years ago. He did not get fat overnight and I don’t expect him to get skinnier overnight. But I don’t want him to get even fatter.”

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Tell Giselle: Apologize without excuses or caveats

December 2, 2023

This follows up on the column “Apologizing has no expiration date” (May 27) and continues the theme of what to make of hearing from someone from your distant past. Considering that the holiday dinner table may have helped launch new hostilities, or added new layers to an existing feud or conflict, some readers may need to extend an apology.

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Tell Giselle: Tipping the scale toward compassion

November 25, 2023

“I learned that my friend has been unfaithful to her partner. Multiple times over a number of years. She let me know that this has been the pattern, and that her partner is unaware. She claims she does not want to end their relationship, but just wants to have that ‘more’. Whatever that more means to her, I didn’t inquire.

I feel like I can’t handle this privately and keep it a secret but I know I must. Now what?”

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Tell Giselle: Thankful for social media

November 18, 2023

As I began holiday preps I suddenly found myself adding an unusual item to the list of things I needed to do.

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Tell Giselle: Hanging in the dangle with grace

November 11, 2023

Not too long ago I drove a friend to a doctor consult. His wife was unable to fill that role that day. This was an especially important appointment as the surgeon would discuss with him the status of his latest scans and lab tests. He would also go over what options for surgery, or other treatments, were available to him.

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Tell Giselle: Where does saying sorry get you?

November 4, 2023

“I think sorry is overused. Like when you hear ‘I am sorry you had to put your dog down.’ Are you in his camp or mine?”

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Tell Giselle: The unbearable toll secrets take

October 28, 2023

“I need to talk about something but you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

This is the comment that preceded a heartbreaking story told to me recently. I’ve heard it too many times to count. I bet you have too. You might have even uttered that sentence several times over the past year to a family member or to a close friend.

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Tell Giselle: Go there even when uncomfortable

October 21, 2023

One of the more persistent concerns that many will be able to relate to involves the increase of communications we receive. These are mostly texts and emails, coming from our own circle or from that six degree of separation matrix. They seem to proliferate at alarmingly increasing rates whenever there is an election cycle, hot gossipy topic or contentious popular issue.

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Tell Giselle: Showing up may not always be ideal

October 14, 2023

“I need to talk about something but you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“My mom is still alive, frail but alive. It is possible that at some point she may die well before him. If that were to happen, I really do not want Dad to attend any part of this process. Not showing up at the hospital, not being at the viewing or at the grave, not even the meal that I expect would follow at my house. How do I bring this issue back up now and tell him I don’t think it would be a good idea for him to go?”

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Tell Giselle: The season of giving already started

October 7, 2023

Quite a few people knew I had been planning over the past several months a celebratory trip to Maui. Then on Aug. 8 apocalyptic fires on the island destroyed the town of Lahaina and parts of Kula. The itinerary for what was to be a magical vacation was immediately sidelined adjacent to the sorrow I felt, learning of the devastating loss of life and personal property, including irreplaceable treasures that had documented the island’s history.

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Tell Giselle: Voting: an act of hope over experience

September 30, 2023

“Our son is eligible to vote in 2024 for the very first time. He knows that I do not have the same party affiliation as his father. Our son seems to be leaning less conservative than us. I think it is because he likes to be argumentative. He may even decide not to vote. This is upsetting more to me than to my husband. I want to sway him. What amount of discussion or pressure is too much?”

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Tell Giselle: Pick or choose, it’s your choice

September 23, 2023

“My girlfriend filed for divorce after 14 years and three children. She seems to know what she is doing. I’ve known she has been unhappy, and am guessing probably longer than she even let on. I want to be supportive. My issue over her divorce is I don’t want to know all the details and I don’t want to have to exclude her husband from my life. My husband and I have known them for about 10 years and they are members of our church. Not sure if that will continue. Have you been in a similar situation? Looking for help with this.”

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Tell Giselle: Health decline and life-ending options Part Two

September 16, 2023

One more discussion point worth exploring with loved ones and with family members, especially when still living in fine health, is voluntarily assisted dying services. The ways patients with terminal diseases are resolving the deterioration of their aging bodies and minds are expanding, but legal assisted dying is not yet available to all.

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Health decisions start well before a crisis

September 9, 2023

“My wife was diagnosed with a form of cancer that we were told is operable. She is resistant to having surgery and I have not been able to convince her to schedule with the surgeon. I am angry that she is not wanting to do everything possible. Any words?”

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Tell Giselle: Intimate questions drive search for individual answers

September 2, 2023

A long-married man with a few children wants to know what is the normal frequency for having sex, as his relationship is going through some “stuff.” An unmarried woman in a seemingly stable and monogamous relationship, who is not a parent, wants to know what is considered the “normal number of times a week.”

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Tell Giselle: Travel plans up in the air

August 26, 2023

“My husband and I have been planning a trip to Europe with friends. With the unrest in some places, and the war, we have come to the point of dithering over to go or not to go. I am thinking that I want to postpone and my husband is thinking about it.”

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Tell Giselle: Carefully decline an invitation

August 19, 2023

“I am gay and live with my partner. There are no issues with any of that with my immediate family. The elephant is I do not want to spend any money in any state with political leaders and laws that intentionally disrespect our community. I have not brought up my resistance to attend. I want to register my objection with those organizing the celebration as delicately as possible so it does not taint the festivity of someone I dearly care about. Any thoughts are appreciated.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Can we be too stingy?

August 12, 2023

“Is it wrong of me to judge my boyfriend as being stingy, something I have accused him of on a few occasions? Is there even a thing as being too stingy?”

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Tell Giselle: Is there such a thing as too generous?

August 5, 2023

“Your last column about generosity hits close to home. I have been wondering, spiritually, if there is such a thing of a person being too generous. This has come to mind because I have been thinking of giving a piece of jewelry to a friend as a birthday gift.”

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Tell Giselle: How generous are we to be?

July 29, 2023

“I am excited about getting a vacation place at the beach. The good thing is we agree on where we would want to buy. The problem is that he wants to let our family and friends use the place, pretty much whenever we are not wanting to be there exclusively by ourselves. I am really not happy with that idea at all. I can already see that it would get overused. We have a large extended family as it is, and then add in our good friends. This will be costly and I would be responsible for the upkeep.

“We are at a standstill, till I think my husband thinks I’ll give in to him. How can I convince him that his open sharing policy is setting us up for some big headaches?”

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Tell Giselle: An ill relative needs more support

July 22, 2023

“My uncle lives alone. He has been fine up until about two years ago, when he started having health challenges every few months or so. My cousin who lives nearest to my uncle told me they have tried to persuade him to move out of his home, even offering to have him live nearby in an assisted living apartment, or else with him. My uncle does not feel the need, and is pleasant enough about this topic even being raised, for now. Before this turns ugly, what suggestions do you have for how I could talk to him, to help make this move happen?”

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Tell Giselle: A perceived insult turns problematic

July 15, 2023

“We tend to be pretty open to new medical information. This time her response to me was more dismissive, to the point of rude. Like, why I am I wasting my time on that, it seemed to me she was saying without saying it that way. But she used the word insane. I realized that I immediately took that as her saying to me “you are insane if you believe that.”

“I am still bothered about this, because I do not know what the best thing to do is. How would you handle this with a close friend?”

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Tell Giselle: Self-censoring comes at a stiff price

July 1, 2023

“My father voted twice for someone I do not support. I don’t intend to ask him, but should I find out he votes in the primary the same way, I see no other option but to cut myself away from him. Doing that means I lose out on an inheritance. That infuriates me. What can I do to not be cut out from money that I surely can use?”

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Tell Giselle: Nourishing curiosity develops agency Part 2

June 24, 2023

Last week’s column, “Wishy washy attitudes about work post graduation Part 1,” began by spotlighting Scott Galloway’s recent takedown of the “follow your bliss/passion” commencement speeches and continued with my assessment of the obvious diminishment of long-held work ethic norms.

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Tell Giselle: Wishy washy attitudes about working post graduation Part 1

June 17, 2023

At a gathering of high-achieving professionals I met a college grad. From my vantage point, he had consumed enough libation for his anxiety to become unfiltered. Now in his thirties, he is living at home with senior parents and younger siblings. It’s not an attractive look for dating, he admits, and knows it narrows his options for a serious relationship.

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Tell Giselle: Making peace without weapons, through words Part 2

June 3, 2023

Recently I wrote a column about guns, my first. I suspected it would generate some polarizing reactions, as is what occasionally happens with some of my guidance and positions.

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Tell Giselle: Apologizing has no expiration date

May 27, 2023

“About 15 years ago I declined to go to the wedding of one of my closest friends. Well before the RSVP was due, I informed her I could not attend, said I was sorry, and gave her a couple of reasons connected to my finances for why it just wasn’t possible.

“I could tell when I spoke with her on the phone, these reasons did not sit well with her, but she did not make a big stink. Since then our friendship has never been quite the same.

“Is it too late to apologize again for why I felt I could not go?”

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Tell Giselle: Losing one’s billfold along with one’s naiveté

May 20, 2023

It was still light out when she returned to her car in the outdoor parking lot. As she was backing out of her spot, she noticed a man behind her car insistently waving, and also pointing to her right rear tire. She told me, “He was a very ordinary looking person, not scary at all.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Finding peace without weapons

May 13, 2023

“I live with my boyfriend. He just informed me he is wanting to buy a gun. He’s trying to convince me this is a reasonable decision. The threat he now perceives exists is somehow different than it was before.

“He has been talking about the random killings. He is telling me that we will be safer. He’s telling me he’ll be better able to protect me, if we have a gun in the house. He has known for a long time how I feel about guns. I think he is testing me to see what I will do. But I am not sure. What do I do now?”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Digesting information for optimal growth

May 6, 2023

Some may not realize that all media consumption, which has exponentially expanded through social media outlets, podcasts and the endless loop of breaking “news,” is a terrific opportunity: using it to transcend obstacles to one’s development.

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Tell Giselle: More on the no-no Cancer List

April 29, 2023

The list began when a dear friend of mine was in the end stages of her breast cancer. By end stages, I mean days before her life ended. That is a particularly unique period of time that can present a loved one or caregiver with some of the most precious, meaningful and life-altering moments one will ever know. And so it was for me when my friend began expressing her desire to have written a book, which she never got around to doing.

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Tell Giselle: Defending one’s bodily and spiritual integrity

April 22, 2023

I mentioned in a previous column that I might pick up the Gwyneth Paltrow case. To keep it brief, the reason I was glad this case came to trial had to do with the truth and seeking justice. I applaud anyone who is willing to go through the ordeal of securing, even using legal means, their reputation and integrity.

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Tell Giselle: Parenting well is within reach

April 15, 2023

“Summarizing an all-too familiar narrative: I am a married, working professional. I have an adult daughter who I don’t particularly like all that much. This has been a slow development. It started not long after she went to college out of state. There are few areas of interest and opinion where we can connect. Looking for solutions to make things more fulfilling.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Breaking bread without breaking hearts

April 8, 2023

“It just turned spring and I am already dreading the year-end holidays. This is because the divisions of politics in my family have been exceeding the fever pitch for a few years running and the most recent developments have stirred the toxic pot. What guidance do you have, and I’m curious to know what you are planning on doing if you are having to deal with these kinds of unpleasant gatherings?”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Sharing light to soften grief

April 1, 2023

Someone soon to lose a parent wanted to know about my experience with my father. The experiences at end of life can be transformative, and be a precious life-affirming gift that endures.

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Tell Giselle: One in Eight Part 2

March 25, 2023

This from a reader with regard to the column that was published last Sunday. It was about cancer, particularly prostate and breast, where I mentioned the American Cancer Society stat “one in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: One in Eight Men

March 18, 2023

According to the American Cancer Society, one in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.

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Tell Giselle: Being woke is being up close and personal to what is broke

March 11, 2023

When a special girlfriend who was in her 50s got breast cancer the second time, I was there for much of her ordeal, even though I was living half a country away. Through a steady stream of cards, letters and phone calls I walked as closely as I could with her. I did a whole lotta listening.

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Wanting more is more than a discipline problem

March 4, 2023

“I am not satisfied with my current job and want out. The thing is I do not know what else to do. I am in a rut, I know it, but cannot get out. All I keep thinking about is there has to be more than what I am doing here every day. How do I make a change that won’t end up being more of the same?”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Menopause need not be miserable or mean

February 25, 2023

I have been asked how best to approach menopause for an easier go of it, if that is even possible. Since there are recent articles about menopause that clearly are trying to be of help to women, but are missing key components to wellness, let’s first look at why menopause is such a big darn deal.

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Tell Giselle: Keeping the love alive post Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2023

“My boyfriend and I are in a slump. This past year each time a holiday or birthday came around it was like pulling teeth to get him to care or do anything. I do not need him to go overboard with his emotions or even with gift giving, though that would be lovely. I do not want to be the one to always have to initiate any plans for a special dinner or date. Unless I make the effort, it’s pretty dull. Where do we go from here?”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Love is the force multiplier

February 4, 2023

“How did you as a divorced mother with a demanding career manage to raise such a stable, successful and happy daughter?”

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Tell Giselle: Be a helper and not a hater

January 27, 2023

“I recently found out a friend whom I have been close to for many years has lied to me. I never had a reason to distrust them before this. Now what do I do? Do I bring this up or just let it pass? Whichever way I go, I am bothered that I have to deal with a dumb lie like this.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: The dilemma of how best to stay on track

January 21, 2023

When desire seems insufficient to achieve a goal, my clients want to know why they don’t always keep doing what is in their best self-interest. Why is it so difficult for some people and not others, to follow through, to finish what one starts?

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Tell Giselle: Finding the helpers Part 2

January 14, 2023

Last week I addressed inquiries about how one goes about becoming a writer, focusing on ways to begin. These suggestions apply to almost any endeavor at any stage of life, so keep that in mind and see how it may apply to any of your goals.

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Overcoming the power of denial

January 7, 2023

Several queries from younger adults wanting to know how to be a writer opens up a New Year resolution discussion that applies to those of all ages and passions.

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Tell Giselle: Changes to sleeping arrangements confound some couples

December 25, 2022

“My husband wants to sleep in another room. He has given me a variety of reasons, from our bed is too soft to he doesn’t want to disturb me when he wants to get up in the middle of the night. He started sleeping in the other room when he had COVID but he’s long been over that. We’ve been together many years and I just don’t get it.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: The best time to share what you know

December 14, 2022

“There’s an ongoing dispute between my husband and myself. When we are around our grandchildren (of various ages) we sometimes notice behaviors that we would have corrected in our own children. Their parents (our son and wife) tend to let things slide more than we did when we were young parents.

More times than not, I will bring these things up with both my son and daughter-in-law. That doesn’t always go so well, but my husband will not speak up. The issue is I want him to be more involved. He doesn’t believe as a grandfather it is his job to say anything.

Help me, please, find a way to work this out as it makes visiting the grandchildren for me more stressful than enjoyable. Some of the time, not always.”

Read More at The Times Leader

Tell Giselle: Discerning who is important

December 10, 2022

“I received an unexpected communication from someone from my past. I am not sure whether to respond or not, in part because I don’t know who this person has become over time.”

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Tell Giselle: Holiday Spending Part 2

December 3, 2022

The pressures of holiday gift giving are dominating the hearts and minds, and my inbox, so continuing with last week’s theme, how to do it better and feel better in the process …

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Tell Giselle: Getting the best gift of all

November 26, 2022

“Every year I get gifts from someone close to me that just annoy the (expletive) out of me. I always say thank you, but am angry at myself for pretending I am glad to have these presents. Any ideas for how to stop this without coming across as (expletive), and getting me out of this?”

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Tell Giselle: Grateful for the original gift

November 19, 2022

I was reminded of a pithy statement from a Roosevelt I knew while I was a journalist with The Denver Post, that is relevant today more than ever: “There’s no substitute for good breeding.”

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Tell Giselle: How to earn friends and grow richer

November 12, 2022

From a mature woman comes a query about changing relationships that becomes an opportunity to reconsider priorities, and begin the work of becoming more self-aware.

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Tell Giselle: Football threatens to divide a family

November 5, 2022

My husband played several sports growing up, but football was his passion. He wants our son to play but I am opposed to this. Even though our son is a few years from being eligible to be on a team, I feel I need to get a jump on this.

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Tell Giselle: An update reflects a lifelong quest for data and truth

October 29, 2022

Before responding to another question, here is the backstory on how I changed my mind about getting a second dose of Novavax.

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Tell Giselle: More than enough reasons to vote

October 22, 2022

Continuing with last week’s column about someone who wanted to drop some pounds before an upcoming event and wanted to learn how best to begin a weight-loss program, this also answers a query: “How do I stop or manage my cravings? I cannot live without chocolate and potato chips.”.

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Tell Giselle: Diet is a four-letter word Part 2

October 15, 2022

A student wants to know why even vote when there is an evenly divided politic that holds the status quo firmly entrenched. His complaint is that the big issues of inequality and the decline of the middle class continue to take a back seat to resolving the culture war with its perpetual state of political divisiveness.

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Tell Giselle: Marking a milestone and losing a stone, Pt. 1

October 8, 2022

For today, I’ll address one topic that seems to eat up serious focus: weight.

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Tell Giselle: Bequeathing your cherished possessions gracefully

October 1, 2022

“I have a dear friend who is undergoing complex treatment for a serious disease. It is not like he is about to die anytime soon, just that he knows he is not long for this world and needs to start putting his affairs in better order.”

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Tell Giselle: Religious observance is a personal choice

September 24, 2022

“I know my wife will not want to accept that I don’t want to go to church anymore. We raised our children with church attendance but once they were out of the house, they stopped going – that was an ordeal for her – and will only go for certain holidays with us just to make her happy. I want some ideas on how to break this routine.”

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Tell Giselle: The price of good help is priceless

September 17, 2022

“What are your thoughts about the clips going viral showing the newest King needing someone to clear his desk so he could sign some ridiculously sized documents? His facial expressions and gestures were a distasteful sight.”

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Tell Giselle: Can we get serious about preventative medicine?

September 10, 2022

I am taking this space to address what many of us so often take for granted: our good health.

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Tell Giselle: Rules for breaking confidences

September 3, 2022

“Should I let my friend know that I have been told about her potentially life-threatening condition, or do I just try to let this slide?”

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Tell Giselle: Novavax Part 2: What are you willing to risk?

August 27, 2022

“Now that COVID is not a pandemic any longer, and we seem to be adjusting to an endemic status, I wonder why you took the Novavax vaccine. Was it something that you considered necessary to protect your health? Do you feel it will prevent severity of COVID symptoms?

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Tell Giselle: Novavax is here but lying to get it or what you want is ill advised

August 20, 2022

If you or someone you know is considering lying to get something you are not entitled to, such as this COVID injection, here’s my attempt to persuade you otherwise.

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Tell Giselle: Prostate diagnosis and treatment options come with complex choices, confusion and hope

August 13, 2022

This is an edited excerpt of my response to recent exchanges I had with a couple concerning a health issue. The husband is nearly 71, and he and his wife are facing decisions about the prostate cancer evaluation process.

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Tell Giselle: From a slap to a public flap, how to avoid sloppy flops

August 6, 2022

“What’s your take on Will Smith’s apology to Chris Rock?”

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Tell Giselle: Must I always support a relative’s artistic expression?

July 30, 2022

“I have been invited to a gallery showing of paintings by my cousin. From what I can glean from his website, his art style has changed to dark, ugly images. There is nothing here I would want to purchase.”

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Tell Giselle: Success pulling off a special occasion celebration requires heart

July 23, 2022

“My wife is going to be turning 50. She’s not thrilled about this so I want to be able to make her birthday a bit less painful. I do not know if that is even possible. I know this one matters a lot more to her than the others.”

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Tell Giselle: COVID considerations from the recovered sweet side

July 16, 2022

I have been asked about my first bout of COVID and since I have learned some new information from the experience that would have been helpful to me had I known it prior to my infection, I thought I would share this with you in hopes it helps you or someone in your circle.

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Tell Giselle: Furious over being passed over

July 9, 2022

“I have a solid track record of being a competent and productive employee and I believe I was qualified for this promotion. Here’s the buzz kill: I found out that the job was given to someone else who has no background in this business.”

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Tell Giselle: Can someone divulge personal health information about their partner?

July 2, 2022

“My girlfriend has been really upset about the Supreme Court ruling taking constitutional rights away from females. We chose to end her pregnancy and up till now have kept this mostly private. Now she feels she wants to tell her story to the local media and I don’t want her to do that. What can I say to her to get her to respect my privacy?”

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Tell Giselle: Being unfairly attacked requires a diplomatic response

June 25, 2022

“A coworker went to my supervisor and made false allegations against me, claiming I was not doing my job appropriately. My boss did not believe these charges. Now that this has been resolved with my boss, I would like to know if there is anything else I should do. Company policy prevents me from being told who made the accusations so I will never know.”

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Tell Giselle: Now is a perfect time to tell you this and to ask a favor of you

June 18, 2022

Even though the death of my nephew occurred over 35 years ago, I am moved to write about it now.

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Tell Giselle: Contributing to a good cause or a birthday celebration should not feel bad

June 10, 2022

How do I let someone know I do not want to donate to their birthday fundraiser, without upsetting them?

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Tell Giselle: Do I owe an explanation for ending a relationship?

June 4, 2022

A reader asks if they owe an explanation when ending a relationship.

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Tell Giselle: How many friends do we need?

May 28, 2022

A reader asks: “You have lived in many places. How did you find and build your support?

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Tell Giselle: How can we connect with deceased loved ones?

May 21, 2022

From a grieving adult son who knew from my work that I have spirit contacts with my own father and other loved ones, and who believes it is possible: “What was it again you say at night to connect?

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Tell Giselle: To speak or not to speak at a celebration of life

May 14, 2022

What is the best thing to do when I see a beggar holding a sign pleading for money and help? It is so painful for me to see so many in need. Especially when there is a child or a dog with the adult. When I am in the car with my boyfriend, it is always the same awkward moment, as we do not see this problem the same way.

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Tell Giselle: Charity for urban beggars is a serious spiritual challenge

May 7, 2022

What is the best thing to do when I see a beggar holding a sign pleading for money and help? It is so painful for me to see so many in need. Especially when there is a child or a dog with the adult. When I am in the car with my boyfriend, it is always the same awkward moment, as we do not see this problem the same way.

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Tell Giselle: When is telling a lie ever an option?

April 30, 2022

This question from a young person who has not yet decided to tell the truth about his sexuality is a growth opportunity for exploring the larger question of how one is to live.

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Tell Giselle: Fertility uncertainty has long been certain

April 23, 2022

I have a married female friend who has not been able to conceive. She knows only some of the difficulties I had before I finally gave birth a few years ago. I have been watching her suffer and want to be truthful with her. I am not looking forward to going into details as some of the facts about infertility treatments are painful.

What is a good way to discuss these personal problems while not adding to her suffering?

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Tell Giselle: How do you cope with people who are stubborn?

April 16, 2022

An exchange with a communications professional who is disgruntled with some of the assignment work, opens up the broader topic of relationships that require way more effort than may be reasonable.

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Tell Giselle: When a slap becomes a life-altering lesson in forgiveness and compassion

April 9, 2022

Presented with the question from several inquiring minds, wanting to know what I think, I am glad the discussion about Will Smith’s violent outburst at the Oscars has gone viral.

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Tell Giselle: Switching focus from COVID to a different type of war

March 26, 2022

For the past several weeks, it has been nearly impossible, just as with the coronavirus, to avoid the media coverage and personal conversations with friends and relatives about these unusually complex fights of our lifetimes.

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Tell Giselle: Waiting on someone else to change may be a ‘Waiting for Godot’ folly

April 2, 2022

Any ideas for how to navigate a relationship with a sibling who clearly doesn’t show up for one?

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Tell Giselle: Mentoring comes with conditions and uplifting opportunities (Part 2 of 2).

March 19, 2022

What is the best way to be a mentor?

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